Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
