I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Randomize