It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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