You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We talked him into tasing himself.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
