a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
