No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize