So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
