BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
