Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My pussy is not your playground.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
