Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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