And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
