i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
handjob tips. give me some.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
