i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
