ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
