It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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