I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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