Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
