Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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