"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
