It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
