Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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