allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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