he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
