You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
