So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize