finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
