I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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