redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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