onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
