I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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