I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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