I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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