he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize