how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
