He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
