whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
