She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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