Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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