I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
