The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Watching her eat just hurts me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
