I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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