I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
