I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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