plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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