me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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