woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
