apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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