She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
