rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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