You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
