you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
