Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
