Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
