drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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