I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
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