omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize