Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
