You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
