SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
