the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she told me i tasted like america
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
A bitchslap is in order.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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