I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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