At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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