He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
