You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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