Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize